June 1, 2023
French President Emmanuel Macron.

French President Emmanuel Macron.

Photo: REUTERS

France in my repertoire. As in the best years (yes, we remember you, 1968), May Day is again celebrated here with student protests and red flags. This time the reason Emmanuel Macron’s pension reform. And yet, what’s the difference? Any excuse will do for a true Gaul to go out into the street with a banner. They say the truth, the French are a nation that elevated the ability to rebel and love to the rank of art. Will we be surprised at the unusual hobby of many local politicians – do not believe it, but several French ministers are known in narrow circles as authors of erotic prose.

WHAT GOOD GIRLS DON’T DO

It’s possible that this is some sort of red herring. Remember another slogan of the hippie sixties: “Make love, not war”? What if the erotomaniac French officials are hinting to their angry voters that there are better ways to pass the time than throwing stones at the gendarmes. Recently, the cover of the legendary Playboy magazine was released, on which the Minister for Social Economy and Public Life of France, Marlene Chiappa, starred. And at least for a couple of days, she interrupted all reports about Macron’s unpopular reform in the news ratings of the French media. And the entire circulation of the April issue of the magazine was sold out in three hours!

By the way, it is Schyappa who is one of several representatives of Macron’s team, which in those days was noted for writing novels “with strawberries”. As a young woman, Secretary of State Schyappa wrote light, sexually charged feminist fiction under the pseudonym Marie Minelli. One of her first books is called Good Girls Don’t Swallow. As the abstract says in it, the author tried to expose many myths related to female sexuality. From the book, readers were able to learn that making love in the back seat of a car is terribly uncomfortable, almost 85 percent of women masturbate, and girls – that’s horror – can also wear the same panties two days in a row.

The next book by Schyappa-Minelli was marked by no less sonorous title – “Sex, Lies and Hot Suburbs”. However, in it the writer writes not about those suburbs that are now set on fire by French hard workers, angry that they are told to work until they are 64 years old. The novel is about a French woman who is tired of the routine and decides to pretend to be a Moroccan TV journalist. During the journey, the girl, of course, meets a mysterious stranger with whom she wants to forever connect her new life.

Marlene herself describes the book as “Romeo and Juliet” with modern settings and realistic sex scenes. According to Schyappa, this work should become a hymn to all women who are torn between the idealization of their relationship and the desire for independence, between fantasy and reality.

COOL WOMEN AND HOT MEN

I tried my hand at the unsteady craft of tabloid literature and the former Prime Minister of France, and now the mayor of Le Havre, Edouard Philippe. He once co-authored the detective novel In the Shadows, a scathing saga of campaign wrongdoing that is filled with pages full of breasts. At the center of the narrative is the French presidential candidate, “a spectacular blonde in legendary pantsuits, with the elusive coldness of women who will never become mothers.”

“Everyone was wondering who was the first member of parliament to receive this trophy,” says the narrator of the desires of the male environment of the politician, who is called “Marilyn” behind her back.

As for the female breast, here Monsieur Philippe shows himself to be a real gourmet. In one of the fragments of the book, the narrator admits: “I prefer round breasts. Not imposing and shapeless, not heavy to the point of sagging, but rather, something with outlines … Real breasts are round, comfortable, friendly. One must be able to gleefully bury one’s nose in its middle.

MEMORIES OF THE BEAUTIFUL

The current Minister of Economy and Finance, Bruno Le Maire, has repeatedly admitted that while still a student he wrote cheap romance novels under the pseudonym of Duke William. However, I could not find any reviews for them. But more recently, Le Maire is the author of a political thriller called The Minister, which tells the story of an official working in the French administration during the US invasion of Iraq in 2003. In the main character, the traits of the author himself are clearly traced. And at some point he is drawn to frankness.

French Minister of Economy and Finance Bruno Le Maire.

French Minister of Economy and Finance Bruno Le Maire.

Photo: REUTERS

“I allowed myself to succumb to the warmth of the bath, the light of the lagoon floating on the window panes, the soap with green tea and Pauline’s hand, which gently caressed my bosom,” the protagonist romantically recalls some moments from his biography.

WHEN THE PRESIDENT WAS 16

But what can I say, even if the head of state himself was not once a stranger to frank outpourings on paper. This became known after an explicit biography of First Lady Brigitte Macron appeared on the bookshelves in France in 2018. From there, it became known that the future president of the Fifth Republic, at the age of 16, wrote an erotic novel for his teacher Brigitte, who later became his wife.

Macron at the age of 16 wrote an erotic novel for the teacher Brigitte, the future wife of a politician.

Macron at the age of 16 wrote an erotic novel for the teacher Brigitte, the future wife of a politician.

Photo: EAST NEWS

The book cites the words of Emmanuel’s neighbor, who in 1993 made money by typing. “One day he asked me to print three hundred pages of a book he had just written. It was a bold romance, spicy! The names, of course, were fictitious, but I think he wanted to express what he felt at that time, ”the biography notes. Unfortunately, the text of the novel has not been preserved. Or it is carefully hidden so as not to make public the details of the president’s intimate maturation.

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